Wow this text is diverse and beautiful :) But it doesn't fit the rest of the design :( - Context, minority, fading edge and gestalt laws.

So this other dude has been moved from the team I got to be on and I got moved to because of that. It is the big factory drama going on people talk around the corners xD. The guy who moved is saying to people that he got moved cause he was shouting too much so now I saw 2 dudes shout as a joke or to some of the the members as a joke or support for the guy who got moved. It like a taunting. Work is not just work I guess.

Another interesting thing happened i almost got hit by a tube by the reckless testing of my psyke and ability to keep calm even when they shout or make noises I’m not sure if it’s deliberate and if it’s anything to do with why they get pissed that I seem to react to nothing not even get scared by their angry language with body and things it’s like throwing things down instead of putting things down like 20 kg stuff it gives big bangs and like breaking a cardboard tube really violently like they have to take off some steam. But I sidetracked the interesting thing is while ignoring the guys rage and I almost got a 20 cm diameter plastic tube in the head cause he shouted at me and I learnt to ignore it cause it makes no sense to shout that much and he’s taking my attention by it by shouting all the time I need my attention to learn and he rolled the tube along the table shouted Chris and it almost hit me cause I ignored him saying Chris I got angry suppressed it and I got a stinging pain in the head and my coworker that I get a ride from said I have a headache now too. The thing is like it seemed like an attack onto me it’s interesting that she seemed to get a headache from it too. The soluiton was to put us to work two different places.

Its so tense with this factory work cause its an awkward social situation and i’m awkward in the first place. And the team leader seems to check on me all the time too there something but he does not tell me. I’m sure its the same as last time i’m going off by my self but that’s the best way i learn i ask when i am in doubt. It feels so much better for me.

I’m sure some of it is some kind of pride feeling and that they are better. Of course they are better at what they do and that’s what they should teach me but that’s not what they want - they want a guy to go do all the small shitty tasks i refuse it to be that way. I’m not a shitjob machine i’m new i know but there is no point in doing small shit tasks and not being part of what they do you only learn by doing. Also if you let it be like that that’s how its going to be.

I don’t say anything to the male guys i piss off and i don’t do anything to the guys i piss off. I just try to do my best and think and do by myself. Its anyone that teaches me it seems like the think i am a moron its annoying i think they think i seem like a moron because i don’t take failing very serious but i try to remember my fails and that i don’t do it in exactly the order they said and i ask questions. I hate their way of teaching (shouting at me what to do makes my hair rise sometimes i don’t say anything about it utill it gets to a certain level i just obey and try to do good unless there’s something i have to mentally figure out how is connected that’s when i get annoying to the teacher i’m sure… they have no patience. Also every fucking person has all these small details they want you to do in an exact same way and they all do it differently when i then start to talk about it there’s no time for that and they just rush me so freaking stupid. I’m glad i can piss them off  as well their teaching sucks) i know it does not work on me i have to think myself and do for it to stick in my memory. It does work that they get angry on memory though but i hope i will survive and not make them kill me or like just do something stupid in rage. Emotion wakes me up and when i get angry and put it into something constructive it feels nice afterwards. Blood flows to the head and the whole system opens my ears become red and my hands become warm (normally when i shake hands with people they are cold.)

There is something that pisses off my male coworkers and none of them says what. I get pissed of at them too for being bossy but i try to ignore it when there is no room in my head for it and do the best to learn and work.

Ctrl+Z anipattern - from computer to real life. The best kind of lazyness is doing the thing right at first try.

Love and aspirations can be an incentive to hate evil destruction and control. If women want power in men. Power can come from good too though.. Depends on perception of the “controlled”. The belief in the image. The contentness. Perception, initiative, motivation, taking responsibility, pushing people to teach you, communication, delegation. Balance thought vs action. Perfection vs getting things done. Balance seriousness vs fun.

Its funny how similar systems make similar things happen all over the World. This means there must be universal similarities in humans. Knowing those “constants” in that equation must have a big advantage. Big data from social media will help find most of them if not blurred by disinformation and fake profiles. Wonder how hunch data of social media is useful it has declined.

You are all the small thing that you should do but you dont do. You are all the small things you do.



Tthe last fibers in the string that holds up are breaking any moment they have been broken from the other side a long time.

mehh noooo give me another life thx retry rewind nother body nother person something.

Wining never helps anything i know.